The Secret to Attraction – LOOKS or MORE?
The Secret to Attraction and Simple things you have to know before you can successfully and effortlessly attract a quality man into your life.
This has much less than you think to do with your LOOKS than it does with who you REALLY are. Yes, your looks DO matter – but most women mistakenly believe that looks are ‘everything’. As a result, they spend endless time building a wardrobe, putting on makeup, and going to the gym… and then they’re confused when their relationships never change up a gear.
Something else you may find relevant: there are plenty of men out there who DO value ‘looks’ as literally THE THING that would make them want to commit to a woman. So if you want to rely on looks alone, that’s OK … you will get men.
HOWEVER! The men that you DO get will tend to be the ones who want a ‘trophy girlfriend’, and as such, they will be more interested in ‘sex object’ than they are interested in ‘you’. And you can just bet that they’ll trade her for something younger or better looking as soon as they feel it appropriate to do so.
Once again, it all boils down to QUALITY. If you want a quality man (and relationship), you’ve got to BE QUALITY YOURSELF. Which means, ‘multi-faceted’ is IN, and ‘Barbie doll’ is OUT.
Moving right along … So what will flat-out help you to attract the man (and life) of your dreams right onto your doorstep? FIRST OF ALL … you’ve GOT to take a look at your ATTITUDE. Quantum physics (the ‘science of possibility’) states that our attitudes and beliefs are what shape our reality. What’s happening INSIDE us is what determines the situation OUTSIDE of us.
So if you’re giving too much air-time to that Inner Critic who lives inside your head … or if you’re holding yourself back with artificial, limiting beliefs about men and love … … i.e. ‘I’m too old to be attractive’, ‘I’m just not pretty enough’, ‘No-one wants to date a single mom’, and so on ….. then the Universe will ‘hear’ you, and – since the Universe always speaks your language -that is then the situation that you will create around you.
BUT, if you can develop an ‘attitude of gratitude’ and actually APPRECIATE what you’ve got, then very quickly you’ll begin to experience a paradigm shift – not only inside your heart and mind, but also in your LIFE.
Your attitude about YOURSELF will also manifest in your life. For example, if you’re acting out insecurity or low self-image … for example, by doing things that, deep down, you’re not comfortable doing in order to ‘get’ somebody’s attention or affection … … for example, getting ‘physical’ quickly in order to ‘get closer’ to someone, or agreeing to an exclusive relationship.
EVEN WHEN you don’t really want to, because you’re unsure of what other options you might have … … then you’ve got to be aware that those actions are rooted in FEAR and INSECURITY and will inevitably come back to bite you on the butt.
Here’s the deal: if you have sex before you’d prefer because you want to ‘get something’ (a commitment, some attention, someone to wake up next to), then you are directly raising your chances of ending up with a man who is USING YOU for sex.
Why? Because the Universe LISTENS to you and REFLECTS your behaviors right back to you.
In this case, you would actually be using YOURSELF as a ‘tool’ to ‘get’ something out of someone else.
Part of being a quality woman, and ending up with the kind of quality man that you REALLY want and deserve, is developing a little self-awareness, actually paying some attention to what’s motivating you and what your REAL INTENTIONS are, and bringing them into line with who you are. No falseness, manipulation, or ‘faking it’ is required here. BEING quality will GET YOU quality.
Here are a few solid tips to help you make sure that you’re not inadvertently sliding into false, ‘needy’, or accidentally-manipulative behavior:
- Don’t be on stand by call for him.
Don’t change all your plans for him.
Don’t sit at home waiting for his text messages or phone-call.
Don’t drop your friends for him.
Don’t be the one he calls ONLY when he wants something.
Don’t accept a ‘date’ after 10 pm (because by this stage, it’s not a date, it’s a booty-call.
Don’t be fooled by the belief that he will change for you.
Don’t get led on by that carrot of the hope he keeps dangling in front of you.
If you want people in your life to respect you and genuinely care for you, then you’ve got to set the tone. Men will only think as well of you as YOU think of yourself, so become your own biggest fan. To get respect, you’ve got to have it for yourself.
By the way … all these things are PART of being genuinely attractive to a man, but they’re not THE MOST important thing.
Think deeper than “conventional wisdom.”
What is the single most FUNDAMENTAL thing that a man wants in a sexual partner?
What’s the one thing he HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn’t personality. There are plenty of lovely, funny, and smart SINGLE women out there.
I can also tell you that it isn’t looks. Beautiful women get dumped every day and SINGLE.
So what is it? I will tell you in my next post…